Why oh Why ...

Why oh why ... it's all I can say today.   Why oh Why.  So many questions in my head.  So many things I want to scream about.   But I won't.  I will tuck them away nice and neat like I always do.   I'm relieved to be able to write on my blog again.   See, I can be smart.   I truly truly can.    There are so many things to say about school.  I love school.  School is such a bright spot for me.  It's refreshing and I feel good there.  I feel like me.   Happy.   Am I happy?   What is happy?  Not tonight.  Tonight, it is bedtime.  Tonight, I am ready to crawl and cry.   I had such grand plans for my evening.  I did.  All shot right out from under me.  Why oh Why?  That's rhetorical.  I know why.  I wanted to spend the evening with my children .. and yet somehow, just like always, it became about work.  I hate work.  It's stealing my life.  Some will understand that statement, others won't.  That's fine.  Not necessary for all to understand my little mind at work.  I'm very random tonight, but that is how I avoid writing about what I really feel.  And believe me I know it is about emotions.  I know it is random.  I know with thought, rationale will find it's place ... in the morning.  Lord, please let me sleep tonight!