Who out there doesn't just love to spend minutes upon minutes on the phone with insurance people!!! That's what I'm doing right now ... I'm holding as a matter of fact ...

We're in the process of setting up some Worker's Comp insurance. It falls on me to do this of course. Ick.

So, Lauren is in the kitchen preparing a meal for the kids and Kyle ... I should be helping, but I have a phone stuck in my ear.

She and I are going to leave at 5:00 and go to Sweet Tomatoes and then to see The Passion of The Christ.

I'm getting more excited each time I look at the clock, then I feel the phone stuck in my ear and feel sad that I'll still be on the phone ....

I cut Koel's hair today. I think he looks cute. I used a 4 on the clippers. I spiked the top. Very fun! Kyle like it too! Yeah I passed!!!

Okay, still on hold ... my ear hurts.

Credit Cards are evil.

Just had to be said.

I reallllly feel bad that Lauren is making dinner by herself! I just want to get off this phone!!!!!!

ARGH!

La, la, la, la, la, la ... to the Smurf tune if you please .....La, la, la, la, la, la, la la, la, la, la, la.

I just learned a great big lesson today.

Kadi ... I had enough this evening. I told her to get her pajamas on, she refused. I went to get the spoon and she went screaming to her room. She knows better than to scream now ... that gets her soap. She still was also refusing to put on her pajamas. I grabbed her by the arm and took her into my room to spank her. She fought me like crazy. That just makes it all worse. I lost it. I yelled and yelled. Then in the midst of it all I discovered that she and Justin had torn up Barbie stuff AGAIN today. That's it. I yelled and yelled at her as she stood there just crying. I even called her a name. I won't repeat it because I've since asked her forgiveness. We agreed to not yell at each other and shook on it. I hugged her, told her I just need her to be a good girl and then put them to bed. Right after I finished praying she pestered her sister. Will she never learn?

Then, I went to tell Keenan goodnight. He was in near a fetal position on his bed. I asked him what was wrong as I hustled and bustled around in his room to clean it ... of course commenting on the mess while I was doing it. He wouldn't tell me anything. So I sat down in front of him on the floor.

When I asked him if he was mad at me ... he said Yes. Because of my yelling at Kadi. He said it makes him freeze. My heart broke. We had a big talk then about yelling and why it is wrong. This is what we came up with ... Jesus didn't yell at us. He chose to be hurt and yelled at himself. He chose to die for us. He showed us love when what we really deserve is much worse. We talked about that is how we are to love each other .. to be willing to be hurt for them. To show kindness and grace.

I asked Keenan to pray for me and for Kadi. We talked too about how we both need to pray for Kadi. I also asked Keenan if yelling ever makes anyone do what's really right. He said No. I said he was right.

Then we cried and prayed together. My son is amazing. He understands so much and sometimes I understand so little.

Kennedy also in the course of the last 45 minutes got her word in too ... she reminded me that when she was little and wasn't good, I prayed for her and she got better. She said I should pray for Kadi that way too.

She's right.

Big lesson learned tonight. Through my children. Jesus loves me and I don't deserve his favor ... especially after the way I treat my children sometimes ... He shows me love and tenderness like I'll never truly deserve except through himself. I must love my children, as Jesus loves me. Patiently, kindly, tenderly, unconditionally. Oh, how conditional I can be.

Thank you Lord for your loving kindness! Thank you for your faithfulness! Your forgiveness!

Make every effort to live at peace with all men ... that includes children!!

You know that No water Anti-bacterial soap at Bath-n-Body Works? I have a bottle of Warm Vanilla Sugar. It's great. I really love it.

I was sitting in the living room when in wafted in a familiar scent that I couldn't pin-point. Then Kadi came in the room with wet hair. I was confused. I knew then that she had put something in her hair. I told her to bring it to me.

Out she came with my warm vanilla sugar ... mind you the NO WATER ANTIBACTERIAL SOAP!!! Her hair is matted!

WHY????????

So the chewing goes on .....

I wonder, will little fiber-optic pieces be good or bad for Kadi?

Kennedy got a flashlight with fiber-optic 'sprigs' coming out the top for Valentine's Day. Very neat. We had a lot of fun with it. But, oh that fun is now gone to Kadi's innerds.

I am sooo angry with her. Why does she think it is okay to destroy any and everything?? I don't understand.

AND today Kadi and Koel had a little 'fiesta' in the kitchen. Pete and I were doing 'make-overs' on ourselves on IVillage.com. I heard some noises in the kitchen and went to investigate. There I found Kadi and Koel sitting in an entire bag of rice spilled on the floor. I'm talking 5 lbs. of white rice. There were some raisins mixed in too. Oh, the fun they were having.

I'm really blown away today.

Frustrated.

At a loss to know what to do.

Count ten ..... 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 .... better? Not really.

I'm gonna just breathe for a while.

I sat and thought this morning about venting my frustrations ... but I didn't want to unload on anyone ... so I am here to web-log ... say web-log ... you end up saying weh-blog. Thus blog is the word I guess.

Running your own business is sooooo hard. So here is my venting for today...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

There, not totally better ... but better.

I have no business training. Never even wanted to look at numbers for the rest of my life. I have a college degree in Christian Education. I am not a business trained woman.

Yet, here I am. In the thick of it. A duck among swans. Daily I just pray I am doing this right. I don't know. I don't understand any of the state and federal ends of things. I give it all to our accountants and that worries me too. Is it all running smoothly? I just don't know.

Kyle doesn't see the bills mounting. I do. I don't handle it well. I feel totally overwhelmed today. I KNOW business is growing. Good grief here we are in the middle of February and he has still been working! That is so good. I know God is taking care of us ... oh me of little faith at times. I don't want to be the business manager. Why didn't I get a say in this? I feel lost. Scared. Out of Control.

I find myself wondering who I am. I'm sure this is the story of sooo many people. But today, sitting here in my chair, it feels like it must just be me.

Is it?

On the upswing, when I disassociate myself from all of that .... today are the kids' Valentine's Day parties at school. Kyle and I (with Kadi and Koel) will be up there for those. That will be nice. I'm going to try to remember to take the camera.

I bought them each a cup for valentine's day. I'm going to put just some conversation hearts in them. I looked at all the candy and just decided No ... I wanted to get them something they could use. So, the girls are getting a BRIGHT pink cup and the boys a BRIGHT green cup. Very fun colors. I think they'll like them. They're definitely something I won't mind. Candy, I mind.

Keenan had to write spelling sentences yesterday. LEt's just say he wasn't crazy about doing them .... So, here's what he wrote on his paper instead .....

"1. I hate spelling sentences.

2. Put a mad face if you hat spelling sentences.

3. Put a happy face if you love spelling sentences.

4. I love sentences Brandon and Danny.

5. I love more sentences Raina and Patra.

6. I wish that I could have nothing.

That's when I caught him ........... mind you none of his spelling words are in the above sentences. There sat Keenan at the table, in tears, and just hating his homework. I was a mixture of fury and pity.
So, I copied his paper on the computer and told him his teacher needed to see what he had done ... then I had him erase his original and start over.

He started over, but did it VERY sloppy and bad ... mind you, on purpose. Shocking!

So, he had to erase it and start over again! I know Mrs. Burkhardt will not enjoy all the erased marks ... however, what else could I do? Finally he did it right.

He was at the table for EVER! Why does he do that to himself? It never needs to take that long!

I know it is hard for me to understand because I LOVE Spelling!!!! Spelling is fabulous! Everyone should spell well!!! There's a Celebrity Spelling Bee show coming on soon .... looks like great fun to me!!

Sick. I know. But hey, when you enjoy something ... you just do.

Like Phoebe's wedding last night. How marvelous was that? Monica was a bit over the top nutso, but that's okay. Pete and I enjoyed it very much!

Alright, time to get a move on ... or a groove ... I'll turn some music {Tim McGraw's "Real Good Man"} on so it will be a groove ....

Kennedy has informed me she can't be nice.

She also said she can't get Satan out of her, it's too hard.

She has had a rough rough week.

For going on two weeks she has been snipppy and sassy to me and rude to her sister. I've addressed it each time, but I just seem to end up losing my cool. Today has been extra rough. She was rude in the car before school. And before we left for school she was huffy about getting ready. After school she immediately was huffy about doing her homework. I then said she couldn't watch TV. Then she made a crack remark about that. So, I sent her to her room to pick up some hangers. She THREW them all over her bed. So, I said she had to stay in there and pick them up nicely. She made a remark then about not caring if she had to stay in her room. Ay-yi-yi.

The evening just progressed. I talked to her about being kind. To no avail. She was allowed to eat dinner with the family. After dinner there was a problem with the computer ... she decided she was done on it, she left the room, so I shut it down. SHe came back a few minutes later and had a cow that it was off.

"I SAID I changed my mind" she said to me. I said I didn't hear that ... (she didn't say it). She made a very sassy remark then, and was promptly sent to her room ... AGAIN. Crying and Screaming ... as if she were being stabbed. So, I said I was getting the spoon. I did.

I discussed with her before a spanking why it was happening and how she was being rude. She says to me, I wish there were no spankings. I told her so do I. I told her I am sad when she is like this. We talked about how God is sad when we do wrong. Yet there are consequences for our actions. I told her this was her consequence. I spanked her. She cried. I held her. She calmed down. All was fine for about 30 minutes.

About 8:00, I turned off the TV ... I was watching American Idol then.

We have been trying to read Bible Stories, Sing and Pray .... so tonight in the middle of the story, Kennedy got up and ran in the other room. I called her back and she didn't respond. I called her again and she came out trying to change her clothes. I said "What are you doing". Well, she wanted her pajamas on. I said, No you can wait until we are done. If you can get up and run around, then so can I. And If I do, then there's no special time. Well she huffed and puffed. Pouted and held her PJs like they were her last friends on earth. So, I told her she couldn't sing with us in that mood. So, Keenan and Kadi and I sang some songs while Kennedy crouched in the corner by the couch. I noticed her slipping the PJ over her head. I then promptly sent her to her room. She was shocked that I had caught her.

I am baffled right now. I want my sweet little girl to remain. This sassy girl is not my Kennedy. Oh, Lord ... help me know how to stop this spirit of rebellion now! We can't have this. On so many levels, it is wrong for her.

She just sassed me again ......... she yelled to see if she could go to the bathroom. I said Yes. Apparently she didn't hear me ... so as she finally passed by my door, she just HAD to say ... "I've been YELLING and YELLING" in a very haughty tone.

Lord, please grab my little girl's heart and teach her to love YOU and others. I pray for our relationship as mother and daughter .... may we grow to be friends as she grows older.

I'm pooped. Motherhood is so hard some days.

Here's a lighter moment ... maybe it's lighter ... I'm still debating it ...

Kadi has this very nasty habit of not closing the toilet or flushing either. Well, again today she left the lid open and the pee in the pot. The bathroom door she also left open. I think Koel must have an open toilet radar. I found him playing in yellow liquid ... yep. Sure did. He promptly was washed with Dove soap.

I shudder to think about what really was involved there. Ugh. Yuck.

Atleast he was happy! Maybe he thought it was pretty.

You never can tell with babies.

Today was the 9th anniversary of Kyle and I getting engaged. I can't believe it! 9 years ago!! WOW!

Good morning,

I just slept in freshly washed $59.00 sheets. What a beautiful night.

I took a friendship quiz yesterday with Jami. One of the questions is still making me giggle ... it asked if I find myself constantly interupted .... Ha! What an understatement!

As I sat down to write this, Kennedy needed to tell me something about when she went shopping with Chris. Now Kadi is asking questions. Don't get me wrong, I love their questions ... but can I complete a thought? I sat down with an idea in my mind to write about ... now it is gone. Ah ... well ...

I had so much fun talking to Jenny last night! We talked for near 2 hours! I cannot wait for that girl to get home! Yep, you Jenn Reedy ... Come home! I love you soooooo much!!!

AND ... to hear that Miss Lisa Reedy may be coming home as well .... Yeah! Now, maybe she might come over and see us!

I taught the kids in children's church the Lisa Reedy dance ... "As long as I'm alive, I'll glorify His HOly name ...." I can't sing that song without thinking of her! So, I did the dance and they all followed suit!

HOld on interuption number #3. Apparently Kadi hit Keenan for calling her a SugarPuff ..... my advice here ... "Move On", after apologizing of course!

Back to the Lisa dance ... hilarious! One of the mothers asked me if I was teaching them a clubbing dance! He,he. No, It's just pure Lisa fun!

Now Kadi wants to know when she is going to go to Sissy's school ... Hopefully next year ... probably in 2 years. Ugh! This is an issue for me! I want her to go next Fall ... she's ready, but she misses the cutoff by a month and a half. Maybe I'll need to homeschool her too through Kindergarten.

Keenan's back, worried about if his bag of dental products is his or Kennedy's. I just don't understand ... And Kennedy wants to know if I said she has to take a rainbow striped paper to school ... No, I never did say that. Oh my. Funny questions. You honestly never know what you'll be asked.

I should go rescue Koelly from the highchair seat ..........

Bring it on MONDAY!!!! I'm in a great mood this morning!!!!

I'm online through DSL!! What fun is this!!! I'm even on the laptop. Kennedy is playing on Barbie.com in the bedroom, and I'm in here in the kitchen ... wireless internet! Woo-Hee!

Kennedy was just trying to 'surf' the internet and the parental controls wouldn't let her! Hee-Hee!

So, I went to the St. Gregory's Trivia Night last night w/ Kyle and several other people ... Marty, Karen, Bill, Michelle, Craig and Little John. Interesting. I had no idea how much the Catholic church really ENFORCES Alcohol consumption! Shocking. We didn't even come close to winning, but Marty won 2 of the 15 raffle drawing baskets ... apparently you should fold your entry papers four times ... they 'float' to the top of the pile that way he says. Interesting ... it worked.

On a much more serious note. Brandon Bishop has cancer. I really don't think that is okay. I tried to call Cindy earlier, but they weren't home. David said he'd have her call me later. Sometimes I just don't understand the way this world goes around. Brandon is a joy-filled person, not just joyful.

Well, it is Friday. Friday it is.

Girl's Night is tonight. I'm very excited. Lauren, Chris, Pete and I will just hang out and eat Penn Station, who knows what else. Part of me wants to have a plan, but the other part is saying "Nah". So "Nah" wins. I made brownies too .... yummy! Chocolate Chunk. Oh my!!

I have done so much today, but as I sit here to write ... I get nothing.

OH, I finally got the information from the insurance company I needed. That is cool.

By the by, before I forget .... Kadi told her Daddy that he is "sucky" the other night. Yes, she is still around. But OH my ... what a brazen little thing she be.

Jenn Reedy has inspired me ...

I'm having an "I just want to scream day", so .... I'm going to think of 10 things that make me smile instead of wanting to scream....

1) Realizing I will have enough money to pay my bills this month ... early even!
2) Yahtzee
3) Koel saying "Momma"
4) Realizing I'm not the only person in the world disgusted by the half-time show
5) I get to go to the grocery store and buy what I WANT and Need this month!!
6) Trivia Night w/ Marty and Karen is only 4 Wake-Ups away
7) Girl's Night is only 3 Wake-Ups away
8) It's going to SNOW on Thursday w/ Accumulation!
9) I like Kyle ... Genuinely ... Today ... he,he ... I ALWAYS love him though!
10) I made a math error in the check book of $100 in MY Favor!!!!!!!!

Wow! That was easy ... I can think of more! So, it's not such a "screaming" day after all.

Here are a few more:

11) THREE of my friends are pregnant!!!
12) And I AM NOT!!!
13) Unlimited Long-distance from SBC!
14) My Parents, whose love for each other grows every day and inspires me!
15) Keenan's Imaginary SuperHero "V-Man". I love "V-Man".
16) Drama. Drama. Drama. Courtesy of Ned and Kadi.
17) Snow again .... Opening the curtains and turning off the inside lights to watch the snow fall at night.
18) American Idol ... I've never really watched it before. Hilarious!
19) Dancing with Koel
20) Pizza has to be on any JOY list!
21) Those Quizzes you pass to your friends about all your favorites! I love those!
22) Soeyun and Jenny's comments on my Blog.
23) Soeyun...Just one of those people in life you love immediately and miss all the time....even though I never call ... I never write ... the thoughts are there ........
24) My Pansy border in my kitchen ... thanks Soeyun!
25) My living room Sconces ... thanks Jenny!
26) Fact that #24 and #25 are inside smile 'jokes'. Good memories.
27) A keychain my friend Jackie gave me when I turned 16. I still use it. What a smile maker!
28) Heaven
29) Hearing "Circle of Friends" by Point of Grace this morning .... "When we get to Heaven, we will recognize each other ...." It was one of Bev's favorite songs. What a smile for me today!
30) Being in Heaven with so many people who I love and can't see here on this earth very much .... Jackie, Lana, Rhesa, Gretchen, My brother, my Parents, My Grandma ... Oh gee ... all my family in OKC and their extensions!, Diana Jackson, ... gosh this list could keep growing and growing ........
31) The stained glass that hangs in my front window that says "The Joy of the Lord is Our Strength!". Bev gave that to me nearly 9 years ago when I got married. God knew then that I would need that reminder in my window of the JOY Beverly Chamberlain found in HIM!! Cool.


Why I'm feeling quite Peppy right now! Everyone should do this!!

All-righty I feel like going back into the world of children now .......

AH, mornings before school .... the sound of siblings fighting, books ripping, tattling, .... music to my ears .......... maybe I should really try to find the music in it rather than being sarcastic about it.

How do you spell Whooooh ... you know like when you're expressing a yell without doing it ... more of a whisper ..... Kennedy was just told to brush her teeth for the fifth time and she made a 'disgusted with mom' sound under her breath .....

It's not that I don't understand ... I still do that to Kyle ... of course being half deaf he doesn't hear me ... but I guess Kennedy does. It isn't so fun when it is directed at you.

Ah, the lessons of a busy morning before school.

Justice. She got toothpaste in her eye. It always come back to haunt us doesn't it? Sin, that is.

Keenan got a wonderful report yesterday! The school system has begun offering dental care at school ... which by the way is VERY cool ... and again ... NO CAVITIES!!! I'm so proud of my little boy who can sooo live without sweets! He's awesome!

Again, another lesson for me on this busy Tuesday morning.

We've all just recently begun using those spin-head toothbrushes ... it is like having a dental cleaning everyday! It is fabulous!

Random thoughts here.

Time to push us out the door .............

On the way to the Bishop's Superbowl party, Keenan told me he was going to make sure and spend some time with Kris (Bishop) ... you know because of what good friends they used to be. I said "That would be great!".

Kris informed me about halfway through the evening that Keenan had been periodically coming and sitting by him on the couch. One time imparticular, he reported Keenan to have made this statement...

"I like food, it helps take your mind off of things".

He,he!

He is so funny! And profound! It really tickled Kris. Just out of nowhere, here came this funny from Keenan! Now, however, I have to wonder where he learned that and consider if I teach him that's a BAD philosophy! Again ... he,he.

I really had a fun time last night. Being with the Martins, the Steeles, the Frys, the Bishops, ... it is just RIGHT! The comfort level astounds me. I cried a bit about it after I got home. It was nice to have Wendy there and Pete also. My two worlds colliding. How bizarre, yet good.

And it turns out .... the new couple at New Heights ... Cort and Laura .... she and Pete know each other from Church camp ...fairly well it seems! What a small great world we live in! Her dad preached in Bowen, Ill. before Jami's dad! Wow!

It was nice to introduce Wendy and Pete to Brandi. They've met everyone else ... now the cirlce is complete.

I just like them all so much.

There's my big statement for today. ... And it's only 7:05! Why am I up???? Because Koel has been waking up at 6:00 a.m. the last couple of days, and my body expected it again today ... and yep ... he did NOT wake up at 6:00 a.m. So, I laid there for a long time and decided WHY NOT get up. Then I remembered everything I need to do today .... then I really knew it was time to get up!

Kyle is out working already. He is salting. Fortunately, rain is coming. Today. Then Snow again. I'm happy and sad. Happy for the work for Kyle, but sad because ... it is just so cold. Today might reach 40!!! That sounds marvelous!

What was up with the Superbowl's Half-time show? Could I possibly have enjoyed it any LESS??

One of the funnier things for me last night came when Jamie Bishop looked at me and said ... Dacia, someone just yelled "Dacia It Was Tim" across the house. She says ... I have no idea what that means ... but that's what I heard .... So naturally I had to go investigate .... It was Pete. Apparently I had missed a Tim McGraw commercial in all my yapping! I missed seeing Tim McGraw!!! Unbelievable! Yes, I think he is rather nice. I have a bumper sticker in my bedroom that says "Tim McGraw for President" you know!
Funny.

I also watched Toby Keith's Superbowl Party Concert on Saturday Night ... amusing. It was Toby Keith, Willie Nelson, Steven Tyler, Sammy Hagar, Joe Perry, and a Rum DMC guy all on stage together. I still can't get over that combo. Strange, but somehow it worked. Wierd. Now that's the kind of thing they should try to pull off at the Superbowl! A little something for everyone! How smart is Toby Keith now that I think about it! Whoever put together the HalfTime for the Superbowl was not very smart! Come on ... Janet Jackson, Kid Rock, PDiddy, Justin Timberlake, Nelly, .... all cavorting around simulating "acts" on the stage ... not appropriate for living rooms full of children!

And finally ...

Kennedy has decided that Keenan needs to wait to get baptized. You can't get baptized when it is cold. I didn't know that. Apparently you can't. She was very sure of that! :)

I reminded her of course that there are indoor places.

Kadi had normal events happen to her yesterday. Nothing out of the ordinary other than her outfit for church. .... White Turtleneck, Bright Pink Cordorouy Jumper (comes above the knee) and flare leg Jeans, finished off by black boots. She just had to wear her dress and jeans together! I had mixed remarks concerning the outfit ... but you know what ... she was happy! That's what matters!

I really don't want to yell at my kids today. I need to begin to take this a day at a time. Purposefully. They are such neat people. I don't want to be the reason they develop issues.

I said "finally" about 20 lines ago didn't I ?? Ha!

It is 7:22 ... gotta get the kiddies up for school ..............