I love school. Can I just say that again ... I love school.

Tonight was so great. I can't describe it right now ... I'm too ancy to start by next paper. So ... I'm going to do that now ....

Oh, but I have sooo much to say ...

I watched about 5 minutes of the View today.

Here's what I have to say ...

Good girl Barbara!

She had this to say about the Donald ... "That poor, poor man". Good girl.

She was naturally very eloquent in her simplicity.

She and Rosie handled it well and it was over and done with in a matter of seconds.

Then Rosie said ... "Now, on to important matters ..." and the show began.

Good. I was glad. Why? Who knows, it's oddly addictive to me. That man. That poor, poor man .... Barbara Walters couldn't have said it better.

I think that Donald Trump is an idiot.

Enough said.

Idiot.

Not that I'm a huge Rosie O'Donnell fan ... but she was right that he is not a moral compass for 20 year olds.

His attacks on her have been ludicrous ... all he can come up with is an 8 year old boy taunt of "Oh yeah, you're fat".

It's like a train wreck ... all of this media attention to it ... I think it's so stupid, but I want to read it. Mostly to see what idiotic thing the Donald has said next.

Who cares if he has money. It is in NO way impressive to me .... mostly tells me he probably is one of the more lonely people on the earth. So he is the boy with the most toys ... he can't take them with him. What he needs is Jesus.

They both do ... Rosie and Donald. And that 20 year old contestant that this all started over. Wow ... how God must shake his head in disbelief sometimes at our world. Maybe not even sometimes ... most of the time ... and the shameful way we speak to and treat one another.

Eye of the needle.

Sad.

Money.

It is truly sad to watch that man on television. He makes me feel pity. True pity.

Here's what I would give Donald Trump if I could give him 3 gifts:

1. The ability to TRULY KNOW that Jesus loves him for him, not his money.
2. A Hair style ... I don't care if it's his "thing" ... it's stupid. And ugly.
3. A Grammar/Language Style Coach. I understand he probably isn't concerned with correct speech or atleast the ability to sound intelligent, because he can buy respect. But come on, don't disgrace the ability to sound intelligent by opening your mouth and letting the idiot-ness out.

And maybe I would give him a Thesaurus .... so he could learn some new adjectives, even put-downs that sound intelligent.

But mostly, Jesus. Really giving him Jesus makes the other things I would give him seems very very shallow and ridiculous.

Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell both need Jesus.

I think I'm crazy. For real. My life makes so much sense to me, and then boom out of nowhere it doesn't anymore. Maybe it isn't crazy so much as confused. Really confused. I try to do what I can ... yet, there's always something. I am not wonder woman ... although I wish I were at times. Super memory girl would be a good title also. Efficiency Woman ... there ... that's it. Just paste a big EW on my chest. Maybe that will suffice. I'm just really, really sad today. My heart hurts. Can I be a rock? A rock of control and efficiency. To be in control of my emotional self and my mental self ... heck, physical self too. What a dream ... maybe a goal. I don't know ... by myself, I feel fine in these areas. I do what I can with what I have to work with. Maybe my house isn't the cleanest place on the planet, but so what. It isn't grungy. It is livable. I don't know how to stretch myself in the areas that need to be stretched ... or so it seems need to be stretched. By myself, I like myself. I understand myself. Until I feel crazy again when something new arises. But then, never new ... always the same. Can I be perfect? That would be nice. Can I think before every word that comes from my mouth? Not even every word, but just to think ... to control every thought before it happens ... to control the muscles of my face. Can I? I sure do try. I try. I try. I try. Who am I? Am I not okay? Am I really lazy? Could I be so filled with things on the inside that present such distress on the outside? Please God ... I just want to be. I just want to be Dacia ... who you've created. Am I not her? Am I so inefficient as I am? Do I require so much change? I know we all do ... and you know where my mind lies at this time. Vagueness ... I'm the queen, apparently. Thank you for Grace Lord ... I need it today. I need it everyday, but today ... noticeably I need Your Grace, acceptance, strength. Show me how to be in and yet out. Show me how to smile when I can't. Show me how to control what I feel I am already. Move me beyond try to do. I want to be above reproach ... above critique. I want to strive to do all and be all. In doing so, I don't want to lose who I am. Who am I? Am I me? I don't know. Who is Dacia. All I know is I wake up everyday and live in survival mode. To be confident and peaceful sounds unattainable. To be organize and consistent ... wow. Each day I try to achieve. I try. I need you to do it Lord. I can't try anymore. I'm done trying ... it gets me no where. It's a circle, a vacuum that I live in. The pressure is busting me at the seams. I want to be pleasing, to be efficient. Can I please? Can you help me? I can't do it.
Can I be Dacia times 2. Can I be me souped up? I wish I could be me and just be fine. Am I so bad? I know you love me. For that I'm grateful. Thank you. The dryer is buzzing ... I must go.

There has been so much happening since I last wrote ... like ...

Our family vacation, making a budget, setting up the kids internets and their own blogs, my first day of school, getting my house back in order after our trip ....

On and On ....

But let's do something fun ....

10 Things that make me smile today ....

1. Kadi's new haircut
2. Mrs. Bray made the greater than sign into a crocodile to help Kadi understand it.
3. Idea that we could conceivably be out of most of our debt in a year, not including half of our vehicle notes and the house.
4. Koel can't seem to stay out of the feminine product drawer in the bathroom ... they're open and on the floor again.
5. Every Thursday night for the next year Kyle will be putting the kids to bed.
6. Koel is using my beaters as a hammer and nails.
7. Keenan looks like Harry Potter.
8. All of my children migrate to the room I'm in ... right now that makes me smile ... poor Klayton ... I know he'd be in here if he could ... he's sitting in the living room.
9. Klayton.
10. Kennedy just had her homework and now cannot find it .... ah the drama.

I wonder what I will make for dinner ... seems like a what's on hand kindof night.