I love school. Can I just say that again ... I love school.

Tonight was so great. I can't describe it right now ... I'm too ancy to start by next paper. So ... I'm going to do that now ....

Oh, but I have sooo much to say ...

I watched about 5 minutes of the View today.

Here's what I have to say ...

Good girl Barbara!

She had this to say about the Donald ... "That poor, poor man". Good girl.

She was naturally very eloquent in her simplicity.

She and Rosie handled it well and it was over and done with in a matter of seconds.

Then Rosie said ... "Now, on to important matters ..." and the show began.

Good. I was glad. Why? Who knows, it's oddly addictive to me. That man. That poor, poor man .... Barbara Walters couldn't have said it better.

I think that Donald Trump is an idiot.

Enough said.

Idiot.

Not that I'm a huge Rosie O'Donnell fan ... but she was right that he is not a moral compass for 20 year olds.

His attacks on her have been ludicrous ... all he can come up with is an 8 year old boy taunt of "Oh yeah, you're fat".

It's like a train wreck ... all of this media attention to it ... I think it's so stupid, but I want to read it. Mostly to see what idiotic thing the Donald has said next.

Who cares if he has money. It is in NO way impressive to me .... mostly tells me he probably is one of the more lonely people on the earth. So he is the boy with the most toys ... he can't take them with him. What he needs is Jesus.

They both do ... Rosie and Donald. And that 20 year old contestant that this all started over. Wow ... how God must shake his head in disbelief sometimes at our world. Maybe not even sometimes ... most of the time ... and the shameful way we speak to and treat one another.

Eye of the needle.

Sad.

Money.

It is truly sad to watch that man on television. He makes me feel pity. True pity.

Here's what I would give Donald Trump if I could give him 3 gifts:

1. The ability to TRULY KNOW that Jesus loves him for him, not his money.
2. A Hair style ... I don't care if it's his "thing" ... it's stupid. And ugly.
3. A Grammar/Language Style Coach. I understand he probably isn't concerned with correct speech or atleast the ability to sound intelligent, because he can buy respect. But come on, don't disgrace the ability to sound intelligent by opening your mouth and letting the idiot-ness out.

And maybe I would give him a Thesaurus .... so he could learn some new adjectives, even put-downs that sound intelligent.

But mostly, Jesus. Really giving him Jesus makes the other things I would give him seems very very shallow and ridiculous.

Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell both need Jesus.

I think I'm crazy. For real. My life makes so much sense to me, and then boom out of nowhere it doesn't anymore. Maybe it isn't crazy so much as confused. Really confused. I try to do what I can ... yet, there's always something. I am not wonder woman ... although I wish I were at times. Super memory girl would be a good title also. Efficiency Woman ... there ... that's it. Just paste a big EW on my chest. Maybe that will suffice. I'm just really, really sad today. My heart hurts. Can I be a rock? A rock of control and efficiency. To be in control of my emotional self and my mental self ... heck, physical self too. What a dream ... maybe a goal. I don't know ... by myself, I feel fine in these areas. I do what I can with what I have to work with. Maybe my house isn't the cleanest place on the planet, but so what. It isn't grungy. It is livable. I don't know how to stretch myself in the areas that need to be stretched ... or so it seems need to be stretched. By myself, I like myself. I understand myself. Until I feel crazy again when something new arises. But then, never new ... always the same. Can I be perfect? That would be nice. Can I think before every word that comes from my mouth? Not even every word, but just to think ... to control every thought before it happens ... to control the muscles of my face. Can I? I sure do try. I try. I try. I try. Who am I? Am I not okay? Am I really lazy? Could I be so filled with things on the inside that present such distress on the outside? Please God ... I just want to be. I just want to be Dacia ... who you've created. Am I not her? Am I so inefficient as I am? Do I require so much change? I know we all do ... and you know where my mind lies at this time. Vagueness ... I'm the queen, apparently. Thank you for Grace Lord ... I need it today. I need it everyday, but today ... noticeably I need Your Grace, acceptance, strength. Show me how to be in and yet out. Show me how to smile when I can't. Show me how to control what I feel I am already. Move me beyond try to do. I want to be above reproach ... above critique. I want to strive to do all and be all. In doing so, I don't want to lose who I am. Who am I? Am I me? I don't know. Who is Dacia. All I know is I wake up everyday and live in survival mode. To be confident and peaceful sounds unattainable. To be organize and consistent ... wow. Each day I try to achieve. I try. I need you to do it Lord. I can't try anymore. I'm done trying ... it gets me no where. It's a circle, a vacuum that I live in. The pressure is busting me at the seams. I want to be pleasing, to be efficient. Can I please? Can you help me? I can't do it.
Can I be Dacia times 2. Can I be me souped up? I wish I could be me and just be fine. Am I so bad? I know you love me. For that I'm grateful. Thank you. The dryer is buzzing ... I must go.

There has been so much happening since I last wrote ... like ...

Our family vacation, making a budget, setting up the kids internets and their own blogs, my first day of school, getting my house back in order after our trip ....

On and On ....

But let's do something fun ....

10 Things that make me smile today ....

1. Kadi's new haircut
2. Mrs. Bray made the greater than sign into a crocodile to help Kadi understand it.
3. Idea that we could conceivably be out of most of our debt in a year, not including half of our vehicle notes and the house.
4. Koel can't seem to stay out of the feminine product drawer in the bathroom ... they're open and on the floor again.
5. Every Thursday night for the next year Kyle will be putting the kids to bed.
6. Koel is using my beaters as a hammer and nails.
7. Keenan looks like Harry Potter.
8. All of my children migrate to the room I'm in ... right now that makes me smile ... poor Klayton ... I know he'd be in here if he could ... he's sitting in the living room.
9. Klayton.
10. Kennedy just had her homework and now cannot find it .... ah the drama.

I wonder what I will make for dinner ... seems like a what's on hand kindof night.

Who knew ... cooking in Colorado was SOOO different than in St. Louis? I just made three pies ... two apple and one pumpkin ... I couldn't get the dough right .... sooo frustrating. Kelly was very sympathetic ... she said it took her four years to get her brownie recipe right out here.

I can't tell you how beautiful this place is. I love it. I love the mountains ... I'd love to see them everyday. I really would. There is something so powerful and peaceful about mountains.

Tis time to leave for the Christmas Eve service .... I love Colorado.

I took Kennedy to girl scouts tonight ... Kadi stayed there with her ... they were going to look at Christmas lights and goto Dairy Queen.

Upon stepping through my door when I arrived home, the first thing I saw was Koel laying on the floor flat out like something from a horrible CSI scene .... so we had a little bit of morbid fun with it ....



Poor guy ... his daddy, big brother and mommy had a good chuckle while he slept like a rock or rather like a CSI victim.

It was so nice to laugh like that with Kyle. Maybe not so much at the expense of Koel ... but it was funny. Here is the after-shot ...




Wonder what he'll think of us later in life for this ... :)

I wrote my Christmas Letter today ... here it is ....



Merry Christmas 2006 Friends and Family! December 14, 2006

This has been a year of changes for our family.
In January, we acquired a lawn care business to expand our landscape company. That was very exciting ... and lots of work! This is shadowed by what happened in April however!

On April 13, Klayton John was born. He truly is an incredible baby. He just fit right into what we all already had going on .... like he just belonged ... which of course he did and does! He is now 8 months old and we are all amazed by him every day! He laughs and thinks each one of us hung the moon ... especially Daddy. He loves his Daddy. He has a way of looking at you adoringly that makes you blush. It is just so incredibly sweet. When we are grocery shopping he just stares at me, when I look down he smiles so big. Oh, that kid! Klayton is coming into his personality and it is such a retreat for us all from our life routines to watch him and be refreshed by his simplicity. Thank you Lord for Klayton John!

Going back a month, my parents moved up here, actually to Chesterfield, in March. WHAT a great help that has been ... especially with the lawn care business and the birth of Klayton John! I don't think Mom and Dad will ever truly understand what a relief it has been to have them so close. The children LOVE it. It has always been a desire of mine for my kids to have grandparents close at hand. They do now, and they love it! Keenan and Kennedy both like to have their special spend the night with the Grandparents night, away from the other kids, including each other. One at a time. Kadi is still working up the gumption to be away from Dad and Mom by herself. Koel is busting at the seams for his chance! Kennedy always seems to think she should be there with him ... Ha ... she just wants Grandma to herself, because she knows Grandpa and Koel are buddies.

In August, I was introduced to Freecycle.org. I would explain it, but you can check it out for yourself .... On Freecycle we found Samantha .. our puppy. She is also a breath of fresh air in our home. The kids needed a dog. She came to us potty trained, obedience trained (mostly), with all shots, fixed and very very sweet. Sammy is a beagle/lab mix we believe ... not that it even matters, her breed is just what we needed ... whatever it is. She is a self-appointed ferocious guard dog. It is very funny ... to me. Everyone in the house is being patient with her chewing habits because of her puppy status ... it will change, already is getting better. Keenan is her boy ... he feeds her and picks up after her. Oh how she loves him.

Keenan Weece is 10 ½ and in 5th grade. It is a hard thing to grasp some days. He is a little man now, full of ideas and concepts of his own. He is developing his own world view and his own faith. It is truly remarkable to watch him mature and change. Kisses from Mom are a thing of the past ... in public. Occasionally he'll sneak up and give me one on his own. THAT, I treasure with all my heart. Keenan is a reader ... always has his nose in a book ... usually a Harry Potter novel. This year he had to get glasses. We tried on several pair ... at first we picked round ones ... funny ... because he looked just like Harry Potter. He opted for a more rectangular shape. I didn't blame him. He is such a good kid ... so imaginative and creative. He has an artist's soul. We love that about him.

Kennedy Morgan is 9 and in 4th grade. She is destined to a judge or a lawyer I imagine. EVERYTHING has to be fair ... her view of fair. Boy will she try to persuade you to her side. Despite this, there couldn't be a more responsible child ...atleast at our house. She is always ready to lend a hand. I appreciate that so much about my daughter. Kennedy is the second mother around this home, from Kyle all the way down to Sammy ... she doesn't let me forget what I've told each and every person to do. So often she is reminding me of whose night it is to empty the dishwasher or take out the trash. Because, of course, it has to be fair. She is having a good year at school and loves her teacher Miss Nobles. In fact she just recently informed me that she is teacher's pet. I laughed and said "Good, I was too." That made her smile. Kennedy's biggest news this year is she gave her heart to Jesus and was baptized! So very exciting!

Kadi Dene' is 7 and in 1st grade this year. She continues to be a spark around here. What I mean by spark is this .... she knows how to light each and every person's fire AND if something funny is happening, she's in the middle of it. Life is always high drama with this little actress. I love that her kindergarten teacher referred to her as Greta Garbo. That makes me smile. Kadi is passionate and she swings from elation to frustration in a heartbeat. It is not easy to be bored around my sweet Kadi. I had someone tell me yesterday that Kadi's eyes would melt ice. She is so full of life. She wants to experience life ... not go to school ... yes, already in 1st grade ... school is boring! I try to point out the aspects of school that I know she loves and that usually changes her mind, for the time ... like friends and recess! Ha! Oh my Kadi.

Koel Thomas is 4 and still at home with me. He has decided that 4 years old is a good time to hit your terrible two's. God gave him the deep dimples in his cheeks to soften the toddler years I think. He is his own little man ... wants to take things apart and put them back together. Anything Dad does, he wants to do ... he'll say "Just like Dad" when he feels accomplished in his goal, whatever it may be. He and Sammy have a love/hate relationship. Koel loves to 'play' with her ... I think it should really be called torture. Poor puppy. She must love him, as she puts up with soooo much. Sometimes her big eyes look at me as if to say "Help me please ... soon". I do. This devastates Koel ... he's playing! We still live in Bob the Builder land. Although now we've added the Wiggles and Lightning "Uh-queen" to the list of favorites. Koel is a nonstop train ride. He goes and goes until he drops each evening between 6 and 8:00. When he's asleep, oh he's so sweet. I could just stare at him forever.

Kyle and I have had a very busy year with the business and in our personal lives. It has had many up-hills and down-hills ... all we have ridden out together. God placed just the right people and just the right timing in our path every time. His love is amazing. I love being able to look back over the year and be reaffirmed in my faith .... He just constantly is there. Always providing. I am grateful for God and His patience. I'm grateful for His grace. I'm grateful for the family He has blessed me with. I am grateful for the husband He gave me to love. I'm grateful to be at the end of the year being grateful.

As we jump into 2007, I will be going back to school to work towards my teaching certification and my master's degree. This will be a big change for the family, but we are ready for it. The kids think it is funny that Mom will have homework too. Kyle and I are excited at the prospects for the future it will bring. We dream about the future and where it will lead us .... with the ability to teach in a classroom, and certification tests in other states... our ability to move and make big changes will greatly increase. Our end desire/goal is to find ourselves in El Paso/Juarez. That hasn't changed. It is always there ... looming, not ominously, but provocatively ... calling and waiting. Kyle's desire to work alongside his friends in Anapra to minister to and to help the people there in the Juarez area continues to grow and churn in him. We both believe God is moving us, teaching us, preparing us. We may be in our 60s when we end up there ... preferably not, but we believe that God has planted this dream in our souls for a purpose. It is good to dream and to be dreamers.

May this Christmas Season find you grateful and full of dreams as well!

With all our love and friendship, I have written this note for
my family as a whole .... Kyle, Keenan, Kennedy, Kadi, Koel,
Klayton, Sammy, and Myself.

dlw
Dacia Wilkinson

I just was reading back over December 11's entry ... I said "God is bigger than this" ... know what was running through my brain ... "GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN" ... complete with music and singing vegetables! Ha!

Ah .... I feel more relief today than I can begin to make anyone understand.

Least of all .... the sink is fixed. We spent the evening yesterday trying to snake it from under the sink, from the roof stack, from the basement stack ... nothing was working .... it was soooo sad. Kyle finally got on the roof and started just ramming the garden hose down the stack ... IT WORKED! It moved the spahgetti clog! All is back to working order .... I can breathe.

AND ... some will understand this .... not all ... and that's okay ...

Karen and I had a nice talk on the phone yesterday. She isn't angry at me anymore. She understands why I did what I did. They have gotten themselves into a program. 90 days. Wow. She said for their sake they have to break off our relationship as well as several others. NO problem I said. I understand. She said but please let's say Hi in the front yard. No problem again.

This call came on the heels of ....

At 7:45 a.m. my doorbell rang ... it was Jeanne ... Marty's Mom. We talked for 45 minutes.

After I got home from taking the kids to school, my phone rang. It was Mary ... Karen's Mom. We talked for 36 minutes.

Wow ... both moms contacting me in a matter of two hours. It was good. Very good.

Then I talked to Aaron two seperate times.

I was exhausted by 10:30 a.m.

I also had a few other pertinent phone calls in there ... on the phone ALL day!

Karen called after talking to her Mom ... her mom told I said that I loved her ... that if she seeks what she needs, she has a friend here. It was good.

What a day. EMOTIONAL.

On so many levels.

The relief comes at a HIGH level. Relief flooding my soul ... a year ... two years of turmoil .... released today. Thank you JESUS!

I was able to tell Karen too ... if help was really going to be ... it would have to be with GOD involved!

Oh how I pray for them. For Marty and Karen. God speed them on as they do what they need to do!

Kyle is released.

Hallelujah!

Hmmmm ... wonder what can happen today? Cleaning hopefully. AND ... Tom Plog said SLCC has a deal worked out with UMSL for education issues .... I'm trying to get ahold of Kendall Brune from SLCC to discuss it ... to know who to talk to at UMSL ... theoretically it would take less time to do what I want to do there than at Lindenwood ... where by the by I am completely enrolled now at NO cost to me! I do have to get my books though! I can't forget that! That'd be tragic would it not!

I also HAVE to get a power of attorney paper filed with the state, so they can talk to me concerning business tax information. Argh ... the frustration of it all!j

Here's what I know today ...

God is bigger than the boogie man!

That Veggie philosophy has been in my head all week, I have to say it. I had to announce it from my head! I've been fighting getting my encouragement from a children's show about vegetables .... but here it is ....

GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN!
HE'S BIGGER THAN GODZILLA OR THE MONSTERS ON TV ...
GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGIE MAN ...
AND HE'S WATCHING OUT FOR YOU AND ME!
ARE YOU FRIGHTENED, NO NOT REALLY ...
ARE YOU WORRIED ... NOT A BIT ...
I KNOW WHATEVER'S GOING TO HAPPEN THAT GOD CAN HANDLE IT!
"I'M SORRY THAT I SCARED YOU WHEN YOU SAY ME ON TV" ...
THAT'S OKAY, CAUSE NOW I KNOW THAT GOD IS TAKING CARE OF ME!

I know whatever's going to happen that GOD can handle it!

Amen.

How many days have passed? Many. Life just flies at you.

The week we just had made my head spin and my heart sink.

All is well on our homefront, but with some friends we love very dearly, their world bottomed out, was a long time coming, and now our relationships are severed.

I pray for them earnestly. I long for them to be okay. I desire them to live well. To live right.

So many who know them have no hope for their situation.

BUT ... my GOD is bigger than this! My prayer is that they will somehow in their tragedy seek God's face!

Why is loving God and letting Him love you so hard for people?

I am so grateful to understand ... I don't always live recklessly in faith like I should, and to my shame ... but I do understand GOD loves me! Even me!

Please God show my friends that YOU love them ... despite their iniquity. Despite all of our iniquity! Teach them. Mold them. Teach us. Mold us.

Drama.

Drama in my house.

Koel head butted Kennedy in the stomach.

It is always something.

"Great Mom, now you're writing about me." Kennedy just came in hear and said this .... Now she's growling at me. Apparently I'm becoming an embarrasing parent. Ha! That's funny! She's smiling now. Good. Maybe the head butting wasn't as awful as she was making it out to be .... Oh wait "Yes it was awful" she says. She's a great healer .... like academy award switcharoo kindof thing.

Dinner time.

AND then ... we make fudge!

Why is it that every measuring device that I have in my house is missing ... albeit the trusty old wooden ruler like I used in 2nd grade?

I had an ebayer ask a measurement question tonight ... I scoured the house for my measuring tape that I got from HCC and my sewing measuring tape ... both gone. I just found the former earlier today and remember putting it up high ... apparently not high enough. I pulled out the trusty wooden ruler ... I guess it was findable based upon uncoolness ... my kids don't ever want to use it. Funny.

So ... I'm looking at my fingernails as I type. Pitiful. I should be de-paintifiying them right now ... I am enjoying making up words tonight. Good times. Good fun. I wonder if I could use them in scrabble. I'm sure I could half way convince Jenny they are words. It's worked before.

So ... I made 11 dozen cookies to take to church today for Journey to Bethlehem (which is December 7 - 10) ... and had near 7 dozen left over for the family. I didn't eat ONE at all!!!!! I know they are good though ... Him had like 5 of them. I, though, made it through that HUGE challenge. It began as a family (children and Mom) project ... the cooking making ... however ... as it does so often, it became a Mom project quickly. Kennedy stuck it out the best. She said she was going to see it through to the end .... The end came, and she was no where in sight. It's okay. It's what I do.

THEN ... I did dishes in the bathtub for the 3rd time in two days. My oh my .... what was it I said in a previous blog ... SERENITY NOW!

Him has been very busy with the fallen snow and ice ... soon to be also busy with destroyed trees. I know he's tired, and I hate the fact that I stuffed the sink up again ... but come on ... it needs fixed! I am soooo paying pennance by doing my dishes on my knees next to the toilet ... I hate the toilet ... I'm a toilet-phobe. I subconsciously try not to breathe when I am near a toilet ... I'll catch myself doing it and make myself stop. There are just so many germs there. Icky. I don't want to breathe them ... yes I realize it is not rational ... but that's what makes it a phobia ... right? Irrational fear ... course it isn't really fear ... more disgust. Disgust of toilet germs. Is there a name for such an illness? It must be a rare illness ... most people think I'm ridiculous ... so obviously not many suffer from toilet-apnia .... can't breathe ... get it? I like that ... toilet-apnia. Of course ... I think people who suffer from cemetary-apnia are silly. Not breathing when you pass a cemetary ... come on ... what's that about ... ... I understand now there must be mutual respect of strangeness.

We watched You, Me and Dupree tonight (I was sitting at the kitchen table frosting cookies) ... it was hysterical. I had heard that it wasn't very good .... I thought it was GREAT! Him and I were both laughing outloud! That's a good movie!

Owen had a shirt on the said ... "Meet my Little Friend" with a picture of a gnome beside it ....I WANT that shirt! Too funny! If that isn't the exact wording, it's like that ... it was great!

Also a non-often known fact about me ... I love garden gnomes. Yes. It's true. There's an episode of King of the Hill were Peggy discovers garden gnomes. It rocks ... as does the Traveling Gnome ... those commercials are THE best. I have three garden gnomes in my flower bed. One has painted fingernails ... he's from Becky.

A fun site to visit if one enjoys the friendship of a garden gnome is ... www.freethegnomes.com. Hysterical ... and oh so informative. I can't make out whether these people are just bonkers or what. Great stuff.

I am sooooo rambling and VERY sleepy.

Klayton slept from 10:30 to 6:30 last night!!!! Fabulous!! I did too. It was awesome! Like ... the best night sleep I have had in MONTHS ... maybe even a year ... maybe this is the cause of the rambling ... although fatigue is setting in ... the adrenaline from the excitement of realizing I had rest is still with me.

It's 11:30 ... and Klayton has a good jump on sleep on me ... so I must away ...

Goodnight sweet Blog.

I just have to say ... there is another circumstance in my life tonight that I really want to scream about ... nothing to do with Him or Them. So here goes the scream ....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ....

Now ... if I can just picture myself on a mountaintop doing that screaming ...

Now that is my kindof screaming!

So earlier this evening I asked Kennedy and Kadi to go down to their room and hang up all of their clean laundry ... that I washed.

They drug their feet, moaned and basically were very dramatic about my horrifying request that messed up their precious TV time. But they went downstairs.

I assumed my children would obey. However ... you know what assuming does.

So ... I go downstairs to tuck them into bed ....

There's an odd lump on the floor ... I can tell the blanket I see is not really as large as it appears ... so I pick it up .... there on the floor ... all of the clothes that were to be hung up.

Kennedy decided to hide them from me. Kadi gave her up very quickly and Kennedy didn't deny it ... instead she screamed at me "What was I doing to her". Oh ... that started a lecture ... let me tell you ....

She learned how dare you tell me such a thing when I was the one who did her laundry ... oh yes ... I also buy all her food, clothes, clean her house, prepare her meals, do her laundry .... and how dare I ask her to hang up her clothes.

So I ran upstairs after her outburst ... got a trashbag and proceeded to bag up all said clothing laying on the floor.

I said maybe next time you'll obey. No skin off my back. Then she really got going crying and screaming ... this time How dare I bag up her clothes ....

Really? Really? says I. I don't think so .... lecture #2 .... If we would obey in the first place, there would be no such discussion or consequence I informed her. Then came the Scripture quoting. ... Especially after she told me she couldn't be good ... out came I Corinthians 10:13 ... oh yes, God provides a way out of each temptation ... we only have to CHOOSE it.

Ay ... my adrenaline is pumping. And I'm exhausted.

Him is getting ready to salt and plow ... this storm is crazy! Good, but crazy. It has been icing outside since 8:30 this morning ... it's 9:24 now ... the snow should be starting anytime and continue for about 12 hours more. Boy oh boy. I know it will be gorgeous ... I just pray all the crazies will drive carefully and stay away from my husband's truck!

Whew .... I'm going to go breathe in the living room next to Klayton and the Christmas Tree ... his exersaucer is right by the tree ... sweet. I'll add a picture of the two of them ((Klayton & the tree) here in a sec.


Night.

It is 11:45 Wednesday night. It is raining and the temperatures are falling. Him is already to go ... for the most part when he needs to ... snow/salt ... all that. Felicia is really funny ... she went to the store and got things before the storm hits ... she called to see if I needed anything ... I took SO much advantage of that ... now I don't have to go buy toilet paper! Ha!

I am listing on ebay again. I am going crazy around my house trying to find things to sell. Two of the things I've listed this evening are bid on already ... each for $9.99 as the starting bid! I'm soooo excited about that!

Now ... if all the other crazy stuff will sell too ... that'd be awesome! I'm thinking of selling several items that will be hard to let go of ... but profitable. Oh the agony.

I wrapped the kids Christmas presents tonight. Yes, it's still November. I know I know ... but I'm not completely done ... I realized I have more for Keenan than the girls and Koel. I have to be careful ... it's all about fairness in this house. Ay-yi-yi.

We got a bargain at the thrift store today ... a TV for the van. It is an 11" Tv/VCR combo. It's great! And Keenan will be able to play playstation, and through the playstation we can watch DVDs ... we also have a thingy that will ipod the sound through the speakers of the van. Cool. I don't understand, but I know it works. That's all I need to know.

So, it was really wierd tonight for the kids to be playing outside in shorts and t-shirts on the eve of a big winter storm. Wierd. But cool. The weather changes quickly around here.

I haven't had ice cream in a long time ... weeks in fact. I miss it.

Why are men so dense? It's a question for the ages. I don't get it ... maybe I'm not supposed to ...

I'm very random tonight.

Why is it the thing I most desire in marriage is the thing I don't have.

Is that true with all marriages? I really wonder sometimes.

There is always something lacking in relationships. Is that true? Or is it just me in an unfortunate circumstance?

I know I know .... GOD is the thing that is lacking. But I desire intimacy with my spouse. What is there to do when Him doesn't get that? Him thinks we communicate better than other couples ... Ha. Here's how that's accomplished .... I bite my tongue, check my emotions, and occasionally I blow. That's what I do. Now I need to PRAY ... PRAY ... PRAY.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference. "

To quote a great 'theologian' .... "SERENITY NOW!!!" But I'm not making a demand, just being funny and yet at the same time pleading for serenity. Humor in seriousness. That's me.

The sink is still not fixed. Serenity Now!

The front porch is still not completed. Serenity Now!

I better not get started, that list could really grow.

Him has a blog now ... let's see if he uses it ... http://idiocrasy.blogspot.com. That's my Kyle. And boy isn't he ALL mine!

I really should go to bed, but sometimes Blogging feels like such a friend. Wow ... I really need to pick up the phone once in a while.

Bed time for sure!

Did I mention Koel's newest habit?

He is rather fond of the "S" word. Yes the one that rhymes with slit.

Everywhere, everything, in front of anyone ... he feels it is appropriate.

How does one explain to a four year old the appropriateness ... just by telling it's not a nice word ... with Koel if you tell him not to say it .. he's going to more. What a pill. It is funny when not in the midst of it. So, my four year old is cursing. We've not had this issue before in the three older ones ... I say that ... my memory has blocked it if there were other instances.

Sink is still broken. I wish I could fix it. Kyle is working today. So, I am using the bathroom sink ... thought I messed it up to ... the insert piece went all the way in and I couldn't get it out ... but with the assistance of a needle and a small screw driver ... I GOT IT! Some things I can do myself.

I read Soeyun's experience with the toilet last night ... made me feel like She-ra ... I can fix the sink if I really try ... however at this point, I have to leave it to Him to fix. I don't want to risk Him being upset.

I'm refering to Kyle as Him ... it's funny ... really. One of Becky's clients only refers to her husband as "Himself" ... "Himself bought a newspaper today" ... TOO FUNNY!!!!!! Becky's clients are a riot! I love her stories.

So Kyle, for the purpose of my blog will be "Him" as long as it amuses me.

Klayton is crying .... mommy time .... talk at ya later.

I'm going to do better at keeping up with this blog thing.

Kyle has expressed an interest in doing one ... I think he should. It'd be a great outlet for him.

I put too much spahgetti down the garbage disposal. Major flood in the kitchen. Major chaos. Frustrated Him. Why oh why do I do the things I do? Atleast I am in good company in asking that questions ... Romans 7. But that's no excuse. I realize.

So, I have all of the water out of the sink and I'm waiting on Him to fix it. I wish I could do it myself. I'd soo much rather clean up my own messes. I feel helpless.

Sammy is really barking downstairs. I'm not sure why ... maybe I should go check. She needed to potty. I let her out.

I can hear Klayton and Kyle playing in the living room ... such a great sound! Klayton loves his daddy!

Notes about kids today:

• Keenan: He decided chocolate milk helps him do his homework faster ... rather it calms him down so he can do his work better. Okayyyyy ....
• Kennedy: Dubbed the Queen of Excuses by her parents today ... she can try to talk her way out of a paper bag ... doesn't often work, but she tries.
• Kadi: Missy got to run a special errand with Daddy tonight to get Fudge/cicles .... nice, but came home to the broken sink mess ... argh.
• Koel: "Broke" the downstairs computer today ... very concerned ... begged his parents one at a time to come and help him with the "broke" computer. All is well. Daddy caved ... it's fixed.
• Klayton: Happy ... Happy baby. So sweet. He's sitting like a champ now and he's loving it! I'm so pleased with him! Now, we just need him to hold his bottle by himself!

I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Adios.

Here's all I have to say this morning ... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Does that count for screaming?

Good.

I John 4:18

(NET Bible) There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.45 The46 one who fears punishment47 has not been perfected in love.

(ALT) [There] is no fear in love, _but_ perfect love casts out fear, because fear has punishment. But the one fearing has not been perfected in that love.

(CEV) A real love for others will chase those worries away. The thought of being punished is what makes us afraid. It shows that we have not really learned to love.

(GW) No fear exists where his love is. Rather, perfect love gets rid of fear, because fear involves punishment. The person who lives in fear doesn't have perfect love.

(KJV+) There is2076 no3756 fear5401 in1722 love;26 but235 perfect5046 love26 casteth906 out1854 fear:5401 because3754 fear5401 hath2192 torment.2851, (1161) He that feareth5399 is not3756 made perfect5048 in1722 love.26

(LBLA) En el amor no hay temor, sino que el perfecto amor echa fuera el temor, porque el temor involucra castigo, y el que teme no es hecho perfecto en el amor.

(MKJV) There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has torment. He who fears has not been perfected in love.

(MSG) There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life--fear of death, fear of judgment--is one not yet fully formed in love.

Four jobs I have had

1. Wife
2. Mother
3. Business Manager
4. Teacher

Four movies I can watch over and over.

1. The Princess Bride
2. Goonies
3. Sense & Sensibility
4. Pirates of the Caribbean I & II

Four places I have lived.

1. St. Ann, MO
2. Joplin, MO
3. McAlester, OK
4. Florissant, MO

Four TV shows I love.

1. CSI: Miami
2. CSI: New York
3. American Idol
4. Law & Order: SVU

Four places I have vacationed.

1. Disney World in Orlando, FL
2. Niagra Falls when I was small.
3. Grand Canyon (Arizona ... all of it!)
4. Juarez, Mexico

Four of my favorite dishes.

1. Pizza
2. Mexican Casserole
3. Taco Salad
4. Steak off the grill

Four sites I visit daily.

1. Regions
2. Yahoo Mail
3. Yahoo News
4. Jenn's Blog ... (atleast once a week)

Four places I would rather be right now.

1. Pizza Hut
2. 20 lbs. lighter
3. Back Camping on the River
4. Kitchen Table @ Rhesa's house

Four books I have read more than once.

1. Wuthering Heights
2. Anything by Victoria Holt
3. Charlotte's Web
4. The Bible