Okay, so there's really so much more to say today. I feel utterly spent. Why is the word "feel" so taboo to men? Is it wrong to "feel" about things. Are my emotions crazy? Are they legitimate? Or am I slowly going nuts. That could be, what with 4 1/2 children, running a business, cleaning a house, and balancing all my relationships. Will I ever be the wife of his dreams? Will I ever have every nook and cranny clean? Will I ever make sure both of the girls have their hair brushed before they get out of the car to go into school? Why do things escape my attention? Heavens to Betsy. Who is Betsy? That's been my saying lately with the kids .... "Heavens to Betsy". I'm sure they're confused as heck. Will I ever maintain friendships they way I truly desire to? Will I ever escape making a money mistake in a month's time? Some days ... I just don't know how to even get out of bed. Will I ever be the mother I desire to be? Why do I let my temper get the best of me? Why does Kennedy argue with everything I say? Why is Keenan so much like me ... the bad ways? Why is Miss Kadi Dene' such a little bully? AND why is Koel into every blessed thing he can get his hands on as soon as I turn my back? Why is it so hard for me to maintain a consistent lifestyle? Why is being discplined in a routine so hard for me? Am I being defeated my own lack of motivation? I function better in routine. Am I just making excuses when I say it is so hard to do right now? Kyle had insight in that ... had a been doing it all along as each child came into the picture, it wouldn't be so hard now when it is VITAL! Will it be easier when we get back to homeschooling? I think it will ... we'll have to have a schedule! For all of us! I've started chores .... again. I told the kids this time though that whether or not they get their allowance at the end of the week will also be their responsibility ... not just mine. They have to make sure all their check-marks are in place! I will remind, etc .... but they need to learn responsibility! Oh me oh my. Will I ever be able to curb the cravings for sweets that I'm so overcome by? Yes, I know it is possible ... done it before ... this time just seems so much harder ... life has been harder ... maybe that's the reason .... probably a lack of faith. Probably me turning to food instead of our sweet sweet Savior. Ah, me oh my. To put that in writing ..... oh me of little faith. I really need to go ... I have things to attend to upstairs.

You know, I think I'm healthier when I blog. It is an outlet ... although I only use it to tell stories from my house .... it still is a creative outlet of sorts ... right?

Koel is watching the Wiggles right now. He loves them. Good thing ... everyone else in the house does too. Today he and I went to get Mommy's Glucose test done. He was such a good boy! I love it when he and I get to hang out by ourselves. Such a doll.

I'm going to get down here more often. I have to. Too much happens.

Here's a story for you ....

I'm checking something on the business software and I hear Koel on the monitor tell Skyler he's going to make popcorn ... so naturally I head upstairs ....

I smell something burning as I reach the top of the stairs.

I round the corner and see smoke coming out of the toaster oven ....

He had stuffed Kadi's homework packet in there and turned it on!!!!

He,he ... but then again ... Crap! He can't be left alone EVER! He is down here with me right now ... scary.

So, I wrote a little note on Kadi's homework to explain the lightly toasted color/odor of the packet to her teacher.

Ay-yi-yi.

Hi ya'll ... yes, I know it's the end of October .. sheesh ... so much going on ... so little time taken to write it all down ... I will one day ....

Here is my afterschool crew .... we get to Buder about 3:05 and wait in a good parking spot until 3:25 when the kids get out of school! See how Koel is dressed? Oh .. he's not ... well .... apparently that is embarrasing to Kennedy at school. I got a "Mother" type of comment from her. I held him outside of the car ... from now on if he isn't dressed, I'll make him stay in the car.
I don't want to be an embarrasment to my daughter. Maybe I should wear bright slippers and my hair in pig tails ... oh wait ... I did that too ... I showed up at school with the front of my hair pulled back in one pig tail on top, sort of, on Tuesday I think it was ... and Kadi giggled "Look at my mommy! She look silly!" to her teacher! What to do ... what to do ....

I am so furious right now. Khiana. Need I say much more?

Breathe Dacia, Breathe.

She disobeys daily ... the same things over and over. It really blows my mind. It makes me very tired. And then she just looks at you with a blank stare that says "I don't care" and she sticks out her bottom lip at you. I flick it. Man. What do I do with her? I don't have a room where I can put her where she can't get into something. I have her sitting on the fireplace by nothing right now. Koel does so much better on the days when she's not here. THAT frustrates me so much.

Kennedy is home sick today. She was running a fever of 100.6 this morning. She didn't feel well last night either. Kadi had this on Sunday ... but she seems to get over things quicker than Kennedy. I wonder if Ned is still iron deficient. She was as a baby. I really need to buy vitamins. They're just so dad-gum expensive for us.

Kyle said a funny thing to me yesterday ... he said we need to go through all of our stuff and get rid of things! What does he think I do on almost a daily basis? I am constantly throwing things out! Hilarous! Where all of our 'stuff' comes from ... I'm not sure. But I found that really funny, I didn't laugh out loud of course ... I just agreed.

10 Things I find funny today:

1. Kim thinks I like a large variety of music ... Jenny and Natalie told me I don't have a wide variety of music taste. Funny to me.
2. Kambria trying to crawl ... on her feet and hands. Too cute. No knees involved.
3. How depressing LeeAnn Rimes song is "Probably Wouldn't Be This Way" .. Idiotically sad.
4. Kennedy loves CMT
5. That I can try to think of 10 funny things just moments after being so angry with Khiana.
6. Cletud T. Judd, Wierd Al, and Ray Stevens ... all rolled up in one. Make me smile.
7. Lonestar's new video is shot with them singing on the bed of a moving tractor trailer truck.
8. Chris Wallace's new hair. After it fell out with Chemo ... it came back in CURLY!
9. Here I go again ... only coming up with 8 things ... so much for 10.

Khiana is whining "I being a good gerl" ... over and over. Ick. Now she is saying "sorry". She is so manipulative. I know it sounds like I'm being a hard-'nose' ... but I deal with this child on a daily basis ... she's manipulating me so that she can get down and be in trouble again in 5 minutes. Sad, but true.

TODAY is my Mom's Birthday!

Happy Birthday Momma Ruthie!

I've spent most of this week ebaying. Nothing too funny has happend ... except this ... Kadi is doing exceptionally well at matching her school clothes! Today she came out all decked out in lavender ... and it was cute! I'm very proud of her!

Back to work ...........

I've had a very productive day. And it's only 4:10 p.m.

I woke up before 6:00 ... but laid there until about 6:30 ... waking up to "Meant to Live" by Switchfoot is a great idea! Energy.

I got dressed, ate breakfast, brushed my teeth, made two invoices, printed several envelopes, arranged things for Kyle for the day ... atleast I tried to, went to Walmart to get brown sugar for tonight's chicken, got the kids ready for school, put 4 babies in the car and the big kids, and made it to school on time ... all of that before 9:00 a.m.! After 9:00 ... I cleaned up the house, started the chicken in the crockpot, refereed a few fights, made a few phone calls for Kyle, inputted all the last two weeks of receipts for the business, cleaned my desk, took lots of ebay pictures, started ebay, fed the kids, and read them a story before putting them down for a nap ... all of that before 3:00 p.m.

We arrived home from picking up Keenan, Kennedy, and Kadi about 3:36 p.m. and homework ensued. Kennedy is putting away dishes, and homework is still happening for Keenan and Kadi. I'm taking a few minutes before I got prepare dinner.

Christian, Brandi, Chris & Megan are all coming over for dinner. I'm excited. It will be fun. We're having my oriental chicken wings and fried rice. Mmmmmm.

I think I deserve to go to bed after dinner is over. Long day. Good day.

10 Things I Wonder:

1. WHY is my house never clean even though I clean all day?
2. Why can't I remember where Kyle puts stuff?
3. Why is my cycle so messed up?
4. WHy is it my 33rd birthday coming up already?
5. Why do people with small children seem to have no money?
6. Why did all the drive-ins pass away?
7. Why do I move furniture around all the time?
8. Why can't I ever make up my mind which way I want to drive somewhere when I have more than one option?
9. Why can't I think of any more things I wonder right now .... So, we'll call it 8 Things I Wonder.

What a day was yesterday .... let me sit here and remember it all ...

First ... I packaged up all my Ebay items ... loaded up my kids and we went to the bank, the Post Office .... and then we went to Shop-N-Save ...

I had two $1.00 off of ONE box Hamburger Helper each coupons! Shop-n-Save has had Hamburger Helpers on sale for $1.00 each! SO ... I paid $.08 for two boxes of Hamburger Helper! That was fun!

Then, we went to the thrift store ... I needed Tennis Shoes .... so in we went to Unique. I found a slip on pair of Skechers that were basically brand new ... AND for Koel ... cowboy boots! He loves them. He was kicking around in them all evening last night! Too fun!

We we got home, I challenged the kids to a cleaning fest. 30 minutes in their rooms; 30 minutes in the kitchen, living room, bathroom; and 30 minutes in the basement. For each area they helped happily and well in ... they got a check by their name ... if they got all three checks ... I said we'd go get QuikTrip. AND they did it! So, after cleaning the house ... we piled into the car again ... and Kadi got a Black Cherry Smoothie; Kennedy, Keenan and Koel had Cola/White Cherry Freezonis; and I had my usual ... Diet Dr. Pepper w/ a hint of vanilla.

Upon arriving home ... I was inspired to atleast try to mow the backyard in the heat .... so I began. So much of our yard is shade in the afternoon ... so I discovered it wasn't too bad heat-wise ... height-wise was another story .... it was up to Keenan's knees. My little mower sputtered along and was able to cut the whole lawn. It took much longer than normal. And while I mowed... the kids picked peaches off the peach tree along our back fence line. Anyone need peaches? There's tons! We had fun.

THEN ... we were all so hot ... we turned on the water ... and got soaked. Me too. It was soooo nice! We had a lot of fun. And then I was inspired to clean up my garden ... so I did ... for a while.

THEN .... I talked to Dawn ... and she said we should all go to the Drive-in .... I said great. So we did .

We drove to Belleville, Illinois last night to see "Valiant" and "Sky High". It was so much fun. The kids had a blast! We laid the seat down in the Durango and had a blanket on the ground; plus lawn chairs. We each had a comfy spot .... Chelsea was on the roof of her van. Kyle fell asleep on the blanket in the gravel. He said "See, I can fall asleep anywhere". I was baffled. I have to be in my bed! It was $15 for all 6 of us in our family to see 2 movies! Fabulous! And the same for the Varvils. For $30, we had a fabulous 2 family outing!

Arriving home after midnight ... all children we asleep, so Kyle and I were able to melt into our own bed and drift asleep very quickly .... so nice.

What a day!

Today might very well be such a busy day too ... we'll see ... I don't really desire it to be ... but it has the potential .....

H
E
R
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A
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Beautiful Wilkinson Girls!


We had outside water fun day last weekend. It was a hoot. Koel you can see enjoyed himself very much. Isn't he so big? He'll be three in October. Wierd. Keenan has grown an inch himself in the last sixth months ... we measured the other day .... Look at Keenan and Koel in the pictures here ... they resemble each other ... wow ... I hadn't really seen it ... I do in these pictures!

I love that putting pictures on here is soooo much easier!!!!!! That is a very happy thought for today!

I should receive a Bonehead Mom of the Day Award ... in this near 100 heat today ... Koel, Skyler and I walked to school. Well, I walked, they rode in the double stroller ... up hill atleast 1/4 of the 1/2 mile walk to school! I was about to die when we arrived at school. Took me a while to cool off ... inside! We got drinks at the water fountain ... that was fun .. and talked to Miss Jennifer the Secretary. She's so nice. She loved Koel's hair and she guessed that Skyler is Tyler's sister too! When we gathered all the kids up ... we all walked the 1/2 mile back home. Kadi bit the dust on the way and cut her hand up. A nice man got us two band-aids from his home. I don't think she'll think back on today's walk with fond memories for more than one reason. Man, the heat!

Time to put them all to bed ....

I just arrived home from taking some glue to Kyle on a job in St. Charles. It was out by St. Philippines Cemetary, so I stopped to see where Angi and the boys are buried.

Oh, I hate even saying the word 'buried'.

It is a new cemetary. A very lovely spot. Angi, the boys and her sister and brother are right up by the front. There is a spinnning wheel above them. It blew as I said I was going to miss Angi to the air ... I won't say that I said it to her ... she's not there truly ... I said it to heaven ... and the spinning wheel blew. What a beautiful moment. Then I whispered "I love you Angi".

Oh God, will this ever feel real? Never to laugh with her again this side of Heaven .... I'm not sad for her ... she's with YOU! I'm sad for Shawn, for Alex, for all of the kids she's touched, for all of the children the boys knew, for all of Amy and Brett's friends, for their families, for all of us who counted ourselves friends ... Wow ... the hole. The hole that can only be filled with You.

"Take my life and let it be ... consecrated Lord to Thee ...
Take my moments and my days ... let them flow in ceaseless praise ...
Let them flow in ceaseless praise ...."

May my focus always be on loving others. Loving as You would dear Jesus.

Thank you for the time spent with my friend Angi. Thank you for her laughter. Thank you for her energy. Thank you for her determination. What a beautiful person.

May I discover now what makes each of my friends so special and celebrate our differences and our talents! May we put aside all dissention, all masks ... may we live in love!

Today I also ran into Cassandra, one of Angi's special girls, at Walmart. We talked for a few moments. She is going to see Shawn tomorrow night with her husband and children ... Lord, please bless their meeting. The last time I saw Angi she was on a mission to help Cassandra. Always going. Always helping. Always laughing. Again, Lord, thank you for Angi!

It's late, but here I sit.

We had a lovely dinner out this evening at the home of John and Angie Hedgecorth. We met them this past Sunday at Baden. They live in St. Charles and actually are very similar to us ... same likes/beliefs ... very cool. They have a community dinner at their home every Thursday evening. Too cool. We met several nice couples this evening. Children everwhere! The fellowship was very nice and the food was very good. I love that kind of an atmosphere where what is mine is yours and yours is mine.

Kyle and I would like to do the same thing at our home ... we're talking about Tuesdays. Then, we could still go to John & Angie's on Thursdays. Then there's the Baden breakfast on Saturdays ... that's not something to miss for sure!! Biscuits N Gravy ... that's what I'm talking about!

Sharing. I believe it is what Christ desires of us! Caring for each other. Feeding each other. Carrying each other's burdens. Kyle and I are deciding to be purposeful in this. There are so many needs ... ourselves included ... why is it that the "Church" so often hides its problems? Why is it the hardest place to find help/acceptance/love? Like that song by the Black Eyed Peas ... "Where is the Love?" Great song. Great message. "FAther, Father, help us ... we need some guidance from above ..." All of the words speak such truth ... I wonder if the B.E.P. had any idea what they were really singing?

I'm glad to be blogging again ... I've missed it ... really I've missed having it printed out so that I can leaf back through it and giggle. Good times.

G'Night.

I saw a mullet today! A mullet sighting at Shop-n-Save ... pretty exciting stuff! On like a 50 year old woman who should know better ... even funnier!

Good morning world. See, if I just make this a normal part of my day ... then I will get it done!

We are getting ready for school this morning. Keenan is so good. He gets up at 7:00 on the dot and gets dressed. He eats breakfast and brushes his teeth all without being told to. Amazing little man.

Kennedy and Kadi need prodding, but it's all good. Every morning this week we've been early getting ready for school! I'm so happy about that!

So ... I'm calling the insurance company again today to find out about food spoilage help. Someone was supposed to have called yesterday .... I need to replace the food we lost in the "storm" ... power outage of 4 days!!!!!!

Today I think my favorite hymn is "His Eye is On The Sparrow" ... I've been listening to it done by Lauryn Hill on the Sister Act Album. Man ... it is so beautiful! "I sing because I"m happy ... I sing because I'm free .... For His Eye is on the sparrow ... and I know He watches me ...." AMEN!

Good thoughts for today ... His eye is on the sparrow ... and I know He watches me!

Yes, it is August 17, 2005.

School has started and that means that I have three children in school. Keenan is in 4th grade, Kennedy is in 3rd grade and Kadi has begun Kindergarten. Wow. Hard to believe.

Koel is nearing three. Time flies.

We've had an interesting last few days ... we had a large storm roll through the area on Saturday afternoon. It knocked some 200,000 homes out of power ... our included. We just got our power turned back on YESTERDAY ... Tuesday! 4 days of living in the 1800s. It was craziness. For the most part we weathered it very well. Lots of candles and a small generator for 2 hours of TV here and there. Good times.

I just heard that Koel is taking two drinking cups and dipping them in the toilet, then taking that water he collects and is putting it into his little potty. He is supposed to be in the bathtub ... this is why I don't blog anymore ... there's never a moment when something isn't happening! ... which on another plain ... would make this an even more fun blog if I could get all of our adventures written down!

I have bookmarked this in a new place ... that will be easier to get to ... I should find myself writing more as a result.

Yee-ha!

Here I go again ... it's been a while since I wrote ... and I've missed so many funny things! Now, I'm at a loss for the memories to write down .... that makes me sad. I want to remember the funny things my kids say and do. Today is a new day ... well, it's almost tomorrow ...and that will be a new day. A new day to blog. A new day to keep touch with the future ... by writing down my present and past.

Musings today ...

Megan and Chris are at St. John's ... Maddie will be born tonight or tomorrow! Megan has had her epideral already ... yeah for her! I told her to just ENJOY it! And to have Chris get her whatever she wants to eat when this is all over for her tonight! She laughed. I'm so happy that Dr. Branson is her doctor too!

Dr. Branson and Dr. Hermann split. I wonder what is really going on there. Tonya had a few bits of information for me ... but not anything conclusive. Hmmm....

Natalie and Robert are upstairs talking. I like him for her so much. Kyle is at Mena's and Kimbra is at Kent's with her parents. My children are all asleep ... as should I be. But ... I figured blogging might be a good activity before bed.

Kent's surgery is in the morning. I pray it all goes well ... I believe they will be taking out part of his colon. Yikes.

There are four pregnant women at my small church .... and I'm not one of them! That is a happy exclamation! I snickered when I realized three of them were sitting in the same row today ... he,he. I was on the complete other side of the room!

We went to Paigey's swim meet today. What fun! We cheered and cheered. She did so well ... she came very close to getting first place in the 100M something. I was so proud of her! I know she was so happy that we were all there ... it was all over her face. That makes me happy.

I begin to watch Skyler tomorrow. I must confess I'm not thrilled. I'm glad to make the extra money ... but Sky is so spoiled. I love Felicia, but that baby is spoiled. She gets what she wants and she gets held all the time. Both of those things will not happen here tomorrow. She has a rude awakening coming. I sort of feel sad for her .... but then again ... not so much .... I pray for strength to stand the screaming and to be stronger willed than her. She has to learn and know she is loved all at the same time.

Ah ... I'm getting sleepy ... I guess the thought of Sky makes me tired.

Sleep ...........

Hello world.

I'm writing to you from our new Dell Hyperion Laptop computer. Yes, our newest toy. It is rather nice. Necessary? I'm just not sure. Wait ... who am I kidding ... I'm sure.

So, it's been a crazy week around here with this fever virus. All four of my kids and Kambria have had it. Fevers around 102 for 2 to 2 1/2 days. Not fun. Koel's eyes have been swollen too. Kadi has had a sore "froat" she says. I think she just wants the cough drops. But ... how can I tell ... I looked in her 'froat' and all I saw was pinkness ... normal pinkness. I'm still not good at this 'mom' thing sometimes. How do I know when there's a sore throat ?? My parents could always tell by looking in my throat. I don't know. Ah .....

Keenan missed two days of school this week too. AND when he went back to school ... he got in trouble! yes, my sweet little Keenan got in trouble at school! Shocking! Mrs. Cloud said he was making chirping noises in the hallway as they walked. And he was not listening to her ... straight up not even acknowledging her when she spoke to him. She chalked it up to maybe he was on medication ... but he wasn't. That boy. What to do. What to do.

So .... I think a fun thing to document would be the fun things that Koel says .... Kennedy is reading this as I type ... so I'll ask her to help me. Here's a list of fun things Koel says:

1) "Dahd-dy gid up!" (this week I heard him trying to wake up his daddy ... when that didn't work, he then started shouting for me ... Day-da gid up! Day-da gid up!) Funny stuff!

2) "Beana" ... that would be Banana.

3) "Happen?" ... this would mean What Happened?. Too cute.

4) "Sissy" is Kennedy. "Kay-ey" is Kadi. "Bubba" of course is Keenan.
Khiana is "Nana". Aunt Kimbra is simply "K". He loves "K". Kambria
"Bia" ... we've all adopted that name for her ... Bia Bia.

5) "Pee-pa" .... that's how he first said Grandpa. He's better at Papa now.

These are just a few fun things that HAVE to be written down! I know there are so many more ... but you know when you sit down to write it all ... they all fly out the window in my mind!

Koel is fun. We'll keep him.

Natalie gets home from Italy tonight. I'm excited to hear all about it!

Okay .... an American Idol note .... I still love Bo and Nadia. They're my picks! Anwar too. Constantine ... I agree with Simon ... he would win "Smouldering Idol". I'm enjoying it very much. I have never really watched it this much before ... they've got a good group me thinks. I like Nikko ... but he won't go far in this ... just a gut feeling. I have to semi-root for him because of the St. Louis connection and all. But that Bo. My my my. Nough Said.

Kadi and Kennedy are very cute. I was overwhelmed today by how adorable all four of my kids are! They were all sitting on the couch together this morning ... four little babies all in a row! Ah ..... It was a totally pinchable moment! I nearly teared up. But I didn't cry ... I did hug them all though! He,he.

Kimbra came home from work early today. She said she felt like she was going to pass out at work and she has a headache. I bet it's this fever virus. Man, it is soooo not fun!

I discovered this week that I'm allergic to Kyle. ... Just kidding ... I'm really allergic to the pollen that was in the tree he cut down on Tuesday. He didn't take a shower when he got home because he was tired, so we went to bed ... sawdust, pollen and all. I was soooo sick when I woke up on Wednesday morning. I told Kyle I was allergic to him! Funny. My allergies seem to be getting worse here in St. Louis ... maybe El Paso would be sooo much better. Hmmm.

I like the idea of a dry climate. I could even learn to love the desert I think. It has mountains down there .... not huge-mungous, but mountains. That's what I love! And it is warm! I love warm. And dry. I like dry. Hmmm.

Okay, so I'm babbling. Babbling is good for the soul. What else can I write about? I think maybe it is naptime. That sounds good to me ... Kennedy however just expressed extreme disdain at the idea! He.He.

Dinner will be pork steaks on the grill. Now that is something to look forward to! Yum! Gotta eat em before Nat gets home! No meat you know for that one! I have her some Boca Crumbles and Burgers in the freezer. Mmmm .... sarcastically.

Okay .... I'm going to go now. TTFN.

Do you know what stinks? I just wrote an entire blog entry and it didn't save! I'm so sad! And frustrated .... I'm not going to redo it right now though ... later ..................

It was Buder Family Reading Night this evening. From 6:00 to 7:30. Keenan, Kennedy, Kadi and I all attended. It was a very fun time! First off, we went into the Reading Cave ... in there ... the light was off and they were able to read using flashlights. It was sweet. They really enjoyed that. From there, we headed to the cafeteria for a snack. Then at 6:30, we headed to the gym with the stage to listen to a Storyteller. She was very good. I think she told 3 stories and read them one. WHILE we were there though .... Miss Jennifer announced from the office over the intercom ... that there was a black dodge in the back parking lot with the license plate ... 0__EEX that had the door left open! No mistake ... that was my car ... so I ran out the bottom door and told the kids to stay put ... switch the order of those two items .... Sure enough, there was the Durango wide open for the world to get inside ... I checked to make sure it would start because the light wasn't on ... it did. Then I tried to get back inside the building the way I came out ... it was locked, so I ran around to Kennedy's class's side ... that was locked, so then I ran up the hill to the front doors ... there I was able to get inside! Then I went down the upstairs hall to make it down the stairs by the gym to reuinite with my children .... The door at the bottom of the stairs was locked! So I ran back up the stairs ... now that door was locked! I was stuck in the stairwell ... hilarious! Sort of ... I had to pee! So I knocked hard and someone opened the door ... I bolted down the hallway to the stairs that lead to the kitchen! My kids were alone and I couldn't get to them! Panic. Once in the cafeteria ... I quickly made my way down that hall to the gym and there found my children completely wrapped up in the storyteller's story. Whew. From there we headed to room 112 ... were Mrs. Cloud and Mrs. Resimius, both of our teachers, were hosting a make your own reading bag activity. We had tons of fun in there! Keenan and Kennedy were able to do this activity because theya re Buder students. AND then, we went to the Book Walk. All 3 of my kiddies in attendance with me won a book! What fun! And then we came home, and here we are.

Now it is time for me to go say goodnight to them .... It is 9:00 p.m. Totally bedtime.

Randomness right now to pass the time ....

Kadi and Justin are playing very well ... however ... Kadi is just so ugly to him. Where does she see that behavior modeled? I really wish I knew where it came from. I would like to address it. I hope it's not me ... maybe I need some self-introspection in that area.

I made Neiman Marcus Cookies for Natalie this morning ... so she can give them as a gift to one of the Shaun's that she knows. If I can say so ... they're very good. Thick this time. I used too much oatmeal, but they're good!

I'm exhausted. Not getting to bed until 1:00 a.m. and then not sleeping until 2:00 a.m. ..... my oh my ..... I just was sooo into my search for kissy pictures last night that I couldn't stop ... and then when I did ... I couldn't stop thinking about them! Silliness.

I wonder if Orbitz gum really does give you that whiter smile.

I feel like a pepperoni pizza ... maybe that new trio one ... Mmmm tasty.

Koel pooped OUT of his diaper while ago.... gross.

Girl Scout Cookie Edy's Ice Cream ... Tagalongs. Try it!

Poop and Food ... they go together do they not?

I want everyone to find the ability to be a truth teller. A loving truth teller. I think this world would be a much better place if we could all do just that. Stop talking ABOUT people and talk TO the people. Funny how God's ideas are the last ones that we go "Ohhhh" about. It's like it suddenly becomes clear. I like that about God's Word. But then I feel so silly to realize how I've been trying to do things my own way ... God's way is so much better! Loving Him. Then Loving Each Other. In truly loving, there is TRUTH. Whatever is true ..... Love is Patient .....

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, my brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are right, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue and if there is any praise, think on these things. "
Philippians 4:9 "Do those things which you have also learned and received and heard and seen in me. And the God of peace shall be with you."

"1Co 13:4 Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head,
1Co 13:5 Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
1Co 13:6 Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
1Co 13:7 Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.
1Co 13:8 Love never dies."